"What Could Have Been"

It is finally done. I am really happy with how it turned out and I hope my ideas translated well.

It has been such a great experience and I am glad I chose this topic even though I had my doubts due to its emotional connection to my real life. I think this will help a lot of people and really spread the information like I had envisioned.

Almost complete!

I've been putting a lot of time into editing my documentary together in these last couple weeks. I really feel that it is finally coming together and only needs a few final touches to be 100% complete. I need to add some ending credits, and website links for viewers to check out for more information. Overall I feel like the documentary has really worked out well and presents information in a way I had envisioned.

The two sides: the emotional, heavy hearted response from someone who has experienced a loss along with the cold, analytical response from a medical background and factual text is clearly outlined. It most definitely leans towards simply making a taboo topic more available to the public eye instead of a debate of sorts but being such a intimate and personal subject it is almost impossible to take no side whatsoever.

I chose to have a poem narrated for the opening scene: vocals on top of images. The work then goes into the interviews -- I chose to move fluidly through all the characters' stories. Each person led into another person and back -- it worked very nicely. Instead of cutting away from the person being interviewed all the time, I presented typed facts overtop of the video as a break from the visuals.

Some symbolic imagery I employed were pictures of shoes, and flowers. The shoes pairs well with the poem from the beginning and having a lot of natural imagery I felt relates to the subject and it's fragile nature. I shot the entire thing with my iphone, including the pictures and video clips used along with the interviews. I found that sound quality is tough when the person speaking sits too far away. The lighting worked well and in fact, in order to preserve the anonymity of my characters I used the "romantic" filter on the video clips so that it puts a blur over their face. The documentary ends with suggestions on what could change to help people that experience this tragedy. Music over the video was difficult to decide on because it had to be short but I didn't want it to just cut out - also music carries such emotional baggage with it that I had to be sure it was holding the documentary where I intended.

I'm happy with where this is going and can't wait to finalize it so that I can present and distribute it.

Editing

I seem to be having trouble editing everything together - just because it really is hard to fit all the information in while also keeping it short. 7-9 minutes is actually such a short piece, it is challenging to keep it interesting while also getting everything in. I have the layout structured, and the order of appearances sorted out, it is simply the execution. Also, as far as an opposing view, I'm not sure how clear I come across. All of the interviews ended up basically showing similar opinions. I am not sure how to work this out. I will have to figure it

Another interview today.

I had another interview today. I think it went pretty well - I got the information I needed and although it was emotional - the woman cried, it was good. This was the interview with someone who has not gone through a miscarriage themselves but has witnessed it through close relationships.

I am really liking the shot set ups I'm getting with my interviews. I hope I can pull it together and have it be cohesive while stimulating at the same time.

Conflicting view points.

My documentary is focusing on those who have experienced a loss vs. society, the expectations, the taboo nature of the topic, the pressure to move on.

Point of views taken from:

Mother of an angel baby.

Father of an angel baby.

Grandmother of an angel baby- has not experienced a loss herself.

Labor and delivery nurse, loss counselor - has not experienced a loss herself.

A woman who has not experienced a loss.

Trying to show, that unless you have experienced it or spent significant amount of time with someone who has had a loss, the connection falls short. It is an extremely hard situation to understand without having it happen to you.

I don't think I'm going to use a narrative voice over, I will just use the interviewed voices, and readable text with an audio source of music where needed. I plan on beginning with Perspective of woman who has not experienced a loss. Moving in to a woman who has experienced it, to a father of a loss, to the counselor. Over top of the interviews I plan on adding text information and stills to illustrate what the person is saying. I plan on accomplishing a somber mood with angled shots of people in interview, and lower lighting, the stills will show quiet moments. Possibly ending with a more hopeful shot.

Pre-production.

Background Information:

-Miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss.

-10-25% of recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage

-Chemical pregnancies may account for 50-75% of all miscarriages, this occurs when the pregnancy is lost shortly after implantation, bleeding occurs around the time of an expected period. Many women don't realize they are pregnant at this point.

-Most miscarriages occur during the first 13 weeks of pregnancy.

-Spontaneous abortion is the medical term for a pregnancy that ends on it's own.

-Most common cause for miscarriage is chromosomal abnormalities but are not limited to this.

-The chances of having a miscarriage in most healthy women is about 15-20%.

-Miscarriage is often not a single event, but a process.

*Statistics

-There are approximately 6 million pregnancies every year throughout the United States.

-4,058,000 live births.

-1,995,840 pregnancy losses.

Of the 2 million women experiencing loss,

-600,000 = miscarriage

-64,000 = ectopic

-6,000 = molar pregnancy

-26,000 = stillbirth

-1,200,000 = termination; for many reasons

Taken from :

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/miscarriage.html

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/main/statistics.html

What no one told you about miscarriage:

It can actually happen to you.

It can happen to anyone, even the healthiest of women.

You're mother's friend or cousin's neighbor or someone connected to you has also experienced a loss.

That kind of loss is no easier than any other death. It is death.

It will be hard, it will be the hardest thing for some women.

Everyone will say what they think is best but unless they have experienced it, what they say will probably hurt you.

Many of those that congratulated you will not apologize for the loss.

After a few weeks, people will expect you to be over it.

Many people you care about will forget about it.

Many people will never mention it.

Many people will act like it never happened.

Many people will get uncomfortable if you try and talk about it.

Society believes you should just get over it.

You will cry and scream and be okay all within the same 10 minute span.

It will test but can strengthen your marital relationship.

It will hurt to see other pregnant women, and it will destroy you to see an expecting woman that is obviously unfit to be a mother.

It will hurt to hear comments about other people just "wishing their pregnancy would just be done by now".

The pain subsides but you will never get over it.

You don't just lose your baby:

-you lose the innocence and naiveté of pregnancy.

-you may lose friends and close relationships with people you care about.

-you will lose the ability to take life for granted.

Your living children, or future children will be fully understood as the miracles that they truly are.

Written by Jessie Slattery

2nd interview.

Last night I had my second interview and it went really well. I had a set of questions set up to ask but the way the interview went was very fluid and I didn't end up actually asking each one individually. I interviewed a male perspective, the father of a loss. It was interesting seeing the different emotions from a man who is seen as "support" vs. from a woman who physically went through the loss itself. I plan on writing out my background information and really sketching out the flow of the documentary next. I have another interview set up for Oct. 30th and one more I will try to fit in before then. Next class I can really begin to piece it all together and hope that what is in my head will successfully translate to the computer.

First Interview

I had my first interview last Thursday. It went really well considering when I got there I didn't quite follow my planned questions because she ended up answering a couple different questions all in one go. Due to the nature of the subject, I am finding it hard to get many interviews. I will have to creative problem solve in order to get around this.

I have also been collecting images to use as added information. I think using voice overs with still imagery would be very moving in this circumstance. I hope to find a way to balance the information.

Progress

I have started to get some action going in regards to my documentary. I've contacted a few potential interviews and plan to shoot that this coming week. On Thursday I will be meeting with one woman in particular whom I hope to get some successful shots. Also on Saturday, Oct. 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day; I will be attending a memorial service at Mt. Olivet Cemetery and hope to also get some visual information at this event.

AED: 398 :: Idea for Documentary

After giving it quite a lot of thought throughout the week, I finally came up with the basic ideas of my topic for the documentary project. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to dip into something so personal and deep, but now I think maybe I'm supposed to....I believe things happen to us for a reason and although I've been trying to figure out why this happened to me and my husband for a while now, maybe this is one piece of it - to put a voice to the faces of loss. I will be making my documentary on the subject of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. This topic is fresh and somewhat raw to me, but I think this project can also be a source of healing. Miscarriage is such a taboo subject in our society, even though one if four women will experience this in their lifetime. Many people are just beginning to lift the veil on this topic and I think I'm ready to contribute.

Some ideas I have for my project -

Interview with a women who works at Sister's Hospital as a labor and delivery nurse and also is a counselor for families going through a loss. She runs three different counseling groups at the hospital, each meets once a month. There is Footprints on the Heart for families who have experienced a loss through stillbirth (20 weeks gestation+) or the loss of an infant. There is Heart to Heart for families who have experienced the loss of a baby through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. And lastly, there is Hopeful Hearts for parents who are pregnant after experiencing a previous pregnancy loss of any kind.

Some of the questions I may present to the nurse:

-How did you start these counseling groups?

-What kinds of emotions do you deal with when meeting with these families?

-What do you hope people will get out of your groups?

-What ways do you think society needs to change in order to make this subject less taboo?

Possibly a couple interviews with people who have experienced loss as well.

Some questions I may pose during the interviews:

-What is your story?

-What were some of the emotions that you experienced?

-What was the worst/best things someone said to you about your loss?

-Why do you think the subject of pregnancy loss is so taboo in our culture?

-What are some of the ways you cope with the loss?

-What are some things you wish had been done differently, what things can change to make this easier or so you don't feel quite so alone?

I have a lot of inspirations to use for this project and plan on pulling from various sources. I think the hardest thing will be sharing personal information. Also the interviews themselves will most likely be difficult for me as well as the subject. I may choose to use a not to use the actual face of the person, and instead tie them to an avatar/character/set of images or something. As a touchy topic, there will be a fine line between this being too emotional and withholding information.